It’s easy to become overwhelmed and stressed during a divorce, which can lead to a number of rash decisions. No matter how calm you may try to be, it’s difficult to successfully navigate a divorce without bias and while keeping your emotions in check. Failing to do so can lead to a number of mistakes or actions that can negatively impact you, your family, and the outcome of your divorce. Here are seven of those mistakes that you should do your best not to commit.
Forcing Your Children to Take Sides
Most parents want to avoid passing on the pain of a divorce to their children, and will do anything they can to prevent that. However, forcing your children to choose between you and your ex for any reason, or feel as though they may lose the love of either one of you can be emotionally scarring. No matter how hard it may be, always remind them that both you and your ex love them and will always want to be with them.
Demonizing Your Ex
Similar to forcing your children to take sides, you should never bad mouth your ex to your children, no matter how bad things may become. It’s easy to forget: your children only have one father and one mother, and they can’t divorce that relationship from your ex, unlike you can with your divorce. If your ex is a bad person, your children will discover it in due time. But for the time being, never attempt to sabotage your relationship by making your ex out to be a bad person.
A divorce may be stressful, and some people choose to find their escape in a new relationship. The sudden rush of fulfillment and emotional comfort a new partner can provide may provide an excellent distraction. However, it’s also one of the worst things you can do during a divorce. Not only are you unprepared to give that person the attention they deserve, but you’ll be adding to your children’s loss and confusion by rapidly bringing a “new parent” into their lives while they’re still sorting out their new circumstances your ex.
Refusing to Mediate
You may not want to sit down at a table and create your divorce solution civilly, but you’d be silly not to give it a try. Mediation removes the judge from your situation and lets you and your ex create a divorce solution that fits your family perfectly. This can leave both of you in a much better place as a result, and ensure both of you have the best opportunity for a happy life after your divorce is finalized.
Exes who get involved in a battle purely just to win usually wind up creating a situation where everyone loses. Far too frequently we see couples get involved in battles over who will get the couples accrued airline miles or possession of the DVD collection. This is silly: the amount of money you spend having your lawyer fight for this possession is far greater than it would cost to simply replace it, so you’re not gaining anything by fighting. Pursue what matters to you, and don’t sweat small stuff that in the long run means nothing.
Laying Too Low
You don’t want to constantly be calling your attorney for information about your case, but you don’t want to simply let everything unfold either. Pay attention to your case but recognize that things will take time. In the meantime, keep your attorney accountable for their billable hours and make sure they’re staying on track with the timeline for finishing your case. Also, you can request a weekly email update from your attorney to replace lengthy office calls or visits for updates.
Using Your Attorney as a Therapist
Speaking of costly office visits, you can easily run up your billable hours by extending your meetings pointlessly. Your attorney may be a compassionate and intelligent person, but they’re not a mental health professional. Your meetings are not the time to divulge your emotional struggles or turmoil to your lawyer, they’re for discussing your case. Using your attorney as a therapist probably won’t help you that much mentally, and will just run up your legal costs further.
If you need assistance with a divorce case, Phillip M. Herr can provide you with exceptional representation and compassionate counsel through every step of the process. Attorney Herr recognizes the importance of having top-quality representation when facing a family law issue, and he is dedicated to helping each of his clients and their families get the best possible outcome to their divorce case. His excellence both in and out of the courtroom earned him the title of Best Attorney in Flower Mound for four straight years from the Readers of the Living Magazine!Give Phillip M. Herr, Attorney at Law a call today by dialing (469) 242-2211 to schedule your consultation!